New Territory

We were warned during our training classes that it could happen. We have heard stories of loving foster parents being drug through the mud because of false accusations. But, until it actually happens to you, it's easy to say, "Surely that's not reality. Surely people have more sense than that." Well, friends, the warning is 100% true. It was fairly easy to overlook the first occurrence of an ill-informed accusation because we knew desperation is the motivator for such actions. However, when the accusations keep coming it becomes hard to bear.

This week members of Baby S's family, along with one of the attorneys, made claims that no one had ever heard before in front of the judge. They implied we were intentionally harming or neglecting Baby S. Anyone who knows us understands this couldn't be farther from the truth. The absurdity makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs and demand for justice. But I know that wouldn't help anything. I know that wouldn't help our sweet foster baby.

Is it possible for me to absorb insults without retaliation? Yes. Is it possible for me to forgive those who accuse me of wrongdoing when all I've done is lovingly care for their child? Yes. Is it possible for a system so broken - a system that allows decent, well-meaning people who are trying to help to incur undeserved judgment - to turn to logic? I sure hope so. Because if there isn't hope for things to get better then I want no part of any of this mess.

But I know things will get better. I know it. God has promised us through his word and the life, death, and resurrection of his Son that he will make all things right one day. If that weren't the case, I certainly wouldn't allow myself, or my family, to go through this mess. My heart breaks for Baby S because she will be going back to her family's manipulative environment soon. So, my biggest struggle is trusting God with her life because, humanly speaking, she would be much better off with us. But, once again, I have to let the truth of God's ever-increasing, incredible, sacrificial, and matchless love for Baby S fill my mind. Otherwise, anger and bitterness try to resurface in my heart like it did right before Baby M left us. We entrust Baby S to God's plan for her life just like we do for our boys and just like we have done for Baby M. And I will say that God's peace grows with each child we have the privilege of loving, but it never gets easy. It is always hard.

The biblical story of Jochebed giving up her son, Moses, reminds me that God always has a plan for every child. Not only was Jochebed an extremely brave woman for hiding Moses as long as she could, but knowing he had a better chance floating in the Nile River than staying with her required incredible wisdom. She was desperate to save her son, even if it meant no longer being able to care for him. We find, however, that after the Egyptian princess adopted Moses she asked Jochebed to nurse him. What a blessing! Jochebed must have felt honored to receive more time with her son. So this account of Jochebed's strength, trust, and selflessness reminds me that it can't be about me if I really want to be a part of God's plan for my children. Even when they leave my home I am still their mother (even if I was with them for only a short time). I know one day I'll reap the blessings of my faithfulness, and I am so grateful that God has even chosen me for this calling.

That being said, all these false accusations are no big deal. God knows the truth - that we want to serve and please him. Even though "haters gonna hate," we know God upholds our cause and protects us.

Please continue praying for our family and precious Baby S's transition back to her family.