I Have Seen the Lord

My husband, Carey, and I often have discussions about the trials the Lord has brought us through over the last several years. And the reoccurring theme is this: We now have deeper, more meaningful, and intimate relationships to the Savior because of the trials we have faced. Our marriage, too, has grown stronger as we've trusted Jesus to lead us, together, through these challenges.

Because of this, I can only exclaim, "I have seen the Lord!"

John 20 gives the account of  Mary Magdalene visiting Jesus' tomb and weeping when she discovers his body is missing. Everything she had experienced - the life, ministry, and unfair death of Jesus - lead to sorrow-filled sobs of defeat. That was, until he came to her at the deepest time of her despair. He looked her in the eyes and said her name. And, so, the best realization, the truest realization, the most important realization became clear: Jesus was the victor over death. Nothing Mary had faced or would ever face could keep him from her.

I see myself in this story. I can envision myself staring at the empty tomb and asking, "What was it all for?" I've dropped to the ground with uncontrollable grief and then heard his voice. I've sobbed, and grappled, and longed for peace only for Jesus to place himself right in front of me. And in the most recent time when I cried out for help, when I admitted I couldn't move in the right direction on my own, he reminded me that I could move, that I WOULD move, because of his strength. All I had to do was put one trusting foot in front of the other like the many times before. Nothing I could ever face will keep Jesus from me, because death couldn't even keep him in the grave. He is, and always will be, the Victor.

I have seen the Lord!

He dares to approach me with compassion when others only approach with selfish judgment. He pushes me forward as others try to drag me down. He shows me the lies and manipulations that people think they are expertly hiding. He mercifully reveals the truth of my own sinful heart to teach me to be empathetic to others' shortcomings while also drawing me closer to him. He shows me what will lead to spiritual growth and what will not. He releases me from the burdens of people-pleasing, perfection, and performance. And the very trials I try to escape prove time and again to show me a new facet of Jesus that I didn't know before.

Without trials I would still be a naïve, petty, and legalistic Pharisee. I would be wallowing in slop while believing it to be a feast. I would be settling for what is familiar instead of standing up to the fear of the unknown. I would let others define my importance, my intelligence, my worth. But I'm not that Mary anymore. I have seen the Lord!

And I invite you to truly see the Lord in whatever you are facing. He is there if we will only recognize him.