Boy, Oh Boy, OH BOY!

So, this was me three months ago while Carey and I were on our anniversary trip to Hawaii:

We had the time of our lives! Everything about this trip was wonderful, from the food, to the beach- front massage, to being just plain ole' lazy. We soaked it up! And it's a good thing because almost immediately after we arrived home, we became aware of our new reality:

Yep, that's right - we were pregnant in Hawaii and didn't even know it yet! God was like, "Yeah, they're going to need a good vacation before they find out about Mr. Surprise." Lol! So, yes, God does have a sense of humor. We figured Baby #3 was a boy from the very beginning seeing how both sides of the family are heavy with boys (roughly 80%). Today we confirmed that he is indeed another sweet boy! And, so, now I gush.

The sonographer was tickled because it seemed that little Zeke ("God strengthens") Gray (my maiden name) Pittsinger was attempting to do alligator rolls in my stomach. Sounds about right. Initially he was resting nicely with one arm behind his head and the other hand was in a fist in front of his face as if saying, "I'm coming for you, brothers!" (This dude fits the bill, folks.) Then he started moving around like crazy!

Mr. Zeke has his lovely little head and hands in my right side and his legs are pushing straight down on nothing else than MY BLADDER (thanks, guy). The sonographer said it was interesting that his legs were straight out because usually babies at his gestation are still curled up a bit. Well, doesn't surprise me at all that he is taking up all the room he can, ha! He seems like a smart little guy who seizes the opportunities he's given, lol. And wouldn't you know that he's measuring perfectly?! I mean, after having two kids that always measured big I almost don't know what to do with myself with that information.

Being pregnant a third time is surreal. I feel like I have a much better appreciation for being able to bear children this time around. We have many friends who either can't carry their own children or always wanted more children and it just didn't work out. Being pregnant is not something I take for granted! What a blessing to be able to carry another little life. This little guy is going to be awesome, and I just can't believe God gave him to us.

I have been able to change some things this time around (to God be the glory). I started out much healthier and active than ever, so thankfully I've been able to keep exercising. (Hey, I may be slower and start waddling soon, but this preggo will get a work out in.) Also, I'm not nearly as hungry as I was with the first two, so it's nice to be able to sleep without getting up to eat in the middle of the night. However, my biggest side affect still seems to be weight gain no matter what I do. Guess my body just likes to be fat and happy when I'm pregnant. I can live with that! ;)

So, there you have it. Our little turkey baby (literally) is due in mid-November, and we plan on picking his birthday, going in for surgery, and having the easiest childbirth experience to date (Lord willing). After laboring for days, having two previous "failure to progress" births, and STILL having surgery for both, we aren't messing around this time. I gotta admit the "Momma shame" that's out there about natural childbirth and stuff really hit me hard this time, but God's helped me work it out. Our goal is to have another healthy, happy boy, so surgery is our choice.

I hope you enjoyed a more "'light-hearted" post! They don't come very often, do they? Lol Well, this life is nothing but surprising. Thank you for sharing it with us! :)

I Have Seen the Lord

My husband, Carey, and I often have discussions about the trials the Lord has brought us through over the last several years. And the reoccurring theme is this: We now have deeper, more meaningful, and intimate relationships to the Savior because of the trials we have faced. Our marriage, too, has grown stronger as we've trusted Jesus to lead us, together, through these challenges.

Because of this, I can only exclaim, "I have seen the Lord!"

John 20 gives the account of  Mary Magdalene visiting Jesus' tomb and weeping when she discovers his body is missing. Everything she had experienced - the life, ministry, and unfair death of Jesus - lead to sorrow-filled sobs of defeat. That was, until he came to her at the deepest time of her despair. He looked her in the eyes and said her name. And, so, the best realization, the truest realization, the most important realization became clear: Jesus was the victor over death. Nothing Mary had faced or would ever face could keep him from her.

I see myself in this story. I can envision myself staring at the empty tomb and asking, "What was it all for?" I've dropped to the ground with uncontrollable grief and then heard his voice. I've sobbed, and grappled, and longed for peace only for Jesus to place himself right in front of me. And in the most recent time when I cried out for help, when I admitted I couldn't move in the right direction on my own, he reminded me that I could move, that I WOULD move, because of his strength. All I had to do was put one trusting foot in front of the other like the many times before. Nothing I could ever face will keep Jesus from me, because death couldn't even keep him in the grave. He is, and always will be, the Victor.

I have seen the Lord!

He dares to approach me with compassion when others only approach with selfish judgment. He pushes me forward as others try to drag me down. He shows me the lies and manipulations that people think they are expertly hiding. He mercifully reveals the truth of my own sinful heart to teach me to be empathetic to others' shortcomings while also drawing me closer to him. He shows me what will lead to spiritual growth and what will not. He releases me from the burdens of people-pleasing, perfection, and performance. And the very trials I try to escape prove time and again to show me a new facet of Jesus that I didn't know before.

Without trials I would still be a naïve, petty, and legalistic Pharisee. I would be wallowing in slop while believing it to be a feast. I would be settling for what is familiar instead of standing up to the fear of the unknown. I would let others define my importance, my intelligence, my worth. But I'm not that Mary anymore. I have seen the Lord!

And I invite you to truly see the Lord in whatever you are facing. He is there if we will only recognize him.