Boy, Oh Boy, OH BOY!

So, this was me three months ago while Carey and I were on our anniversary trip to Hawaii:

We had the time of our lives! Everything about this trip was wonderful, from the food, to the beach- front massage, to being just plain ole' lazy. We soaked it up! And it's a good thing because almost immediately after we arrived home, we became aware of our new reality:

Yep, that's right - we were pregnant in Hawaii and didn't even know it yet! God was like, "Yeah, they're going to need a good vacation before they find out about Mr. Surprise." Lol! So, yes, God does have a sense of humor. We figured Baby #3 was a boy from the very beginning seeing how both sides of the family are heavy with boys (roughly 80%). Today we confirmed that he is indeed another sweet boy! And, so, now I gush.

The sonographer was tickled because it seemed that little Zeke ("God strengthens") Gray (my maiden name) Pittsinger was attempting to do alligator rolls in my stomach. Sounds about right. Initially he was resting nicely with one arm behind his head and the other hand was in a fist in front of his face as if saying, "I'm coming for you, brothers!" (This dude fits the bill, folks.) Then he started moving around like crazy!

Mr. Zeke has his lovely little head and hands in my right side and his legs are pushing straight down on nothing else than MY BLADDER (thanks, guy). The sonographer said it was interesting that his legs were straight out because usually babies at his gestation are still curled up a bit. Well, doesn't surprise me at all that he is taking up all the room he can, ha! He seems like a smart little guy who seizes the opportunities he's given, lol. And wouldn't you know that he's measuring perfectly?! I mean, after having two kids that always measured big I almost don't know what to do with myself with that information.

Being pregnant a third time is surreal. I feel like I have a much better appreciation for being able to bear children this time around. We have many friends who either can't carry their own children or always wanted more children and it just didn't work out. Being pregnant is not something I take for granted! What a blessing to be able to carry another little life. This little guy is going to be awesome, and I just can't believe God gave him to us.

I have been able to change some things this time around (to God be the glory). I started out much healthier and active than ever, so thankfully I've been able to keep exercising. (Hey, I may be slower and start waddling soon, but this preggo will get a work out in.) Also, I'm not nearly as hungry as I was with the first two, so it's nice to be able to sleep without getting up to eat in the middle of the night. However, my biggest side affect still seems to be weight gain no matter what I do. Guess my body just likes to be fat and happy when I'm pregnant. I can live with that! ;)

So, there you have it. Our little turkey baby (literally) is due in mid-November, and we plan on picking his birthday, going in for surgery, and having the easiest childbirth experience to date (Lord willing). After laboring for days, having two previous "failure to progress" births, and STILL having surgery for both, we aren't messing around this time. I gotta admit the "Momma shame" that's out there about natural childbirth and stuff really hit me hard this time, but God's helped me work it out. Our goal is to have another healthy, happy boy, so surgery is our choice.

I hope you enjoyed a more "'light-hearted" post! They don't come very often, do they? Lol Well, this life is nothing but surprising. Thank you for sharing it with us! :)

I Have Seen the Lord

My husband, Carey, and I often have discussions about the trials the Lord has brought us through over the last several years. And the reoccurring theme is this: We now have deeper, more meaningful, and intimate relationships to the Savior because of the trials we have faced. Our marriage, too, has grown stronger as we've trusted Jesus to lead us, together, through these challenges.

Because of this, I can only exclaim, "I have seen the Lord!"

John 20 gives the account of  Mary Magdalene visiting Jesus' tomb and weeping when she discovers his body is missing. Everything she had experienced - the life, ministry, and unfair death of Jesus - lead to sorrow-filled sobs of defeat. That was, until he came to her at the deepest time of her despair. He looked her in the eyes and said her name. And, so, the best realization, the truest realization, the most important realization became clear: Jesus was the victor over death. Nothing Mary had faced or would ever face could keep him from her.

I see myself in this story. I can envision myself staring at the empty tomb and asking, "What was it all for?" I've dropped to the ground with uncontrollable grief and then heard his voice. I've sobbed, and grappled, and longed for peace only for Jesus to place himself right in front of me. And in the most recent time when I cried out for help, when I admitted I couldn't move in the right direction on my own, he reminded me that I could move, that I WOULD move, because of his strength. All I had to do was put one trusting foot in front of the other like the many times before. Nothing I could ever face will keep Jesus from me, because death couldn't even keep him in the grave. He is, and always will be, the Victor.

I have seen the Lord!

He dares to approach me with compassion when others only approach with selfish judgment. He pushes me forward as others try to drag me down. He shows me the lies and manipulations that people think they are expertly hiding. He mercifully reveals the truth of my own sinful heart to teach me to be empathetic to others' shortcomings while also drawing me closer to him. He shows me what will lead to spiritual growth and what will not. He releases me from the burdens of people-pleasing, perfection, and performance. And the very trials I try to escape prove time and again to show me a new facet of Jesus that I didn't know before.

Without trials I would still be a naïve, petty, and legalistic Pharisee. I would be wallowing in slop while believing it to be a feast. I would be settling for what is familiar instead of standing up to the fear of the unknown. I would let others define my importance, my intelligence, my worth. But I'm not that Mary anymore. I have seen the Lord!

And I invite you to truly see the Lord in whatever you are facing. He is there if we will only recognize him.

God of the Outcasts

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” Isaiah 30:21

I’ve always known that God is the God of the outcasts. I’ve just never thought of myself as one until now.

Lately I've been greatly burdened for truth and the discovery of genuine spiritual freedom. A burden for who Jesus says He is instead of who religion says He is. I've banged my spiritual fist on the table, I've tipped over a boat or two. And, according to the Lord's perfect will, I pray He continues to use me as a fist-banger for the rest of my life. I'm fed up.

I don’t want your religion anymore, and neither do the lost. We want Jesus.

I’ve been willing to give it all and then scavenge for more. And others around me are willing, too. But it’s not popular to truly trust God for who He says He is. Or to trust who He has been in the past and who He says He will be in the future. Religion-based Christians act like He isn’t enough. I say you can take your religion and bury it in the sand, because it has done no good in recent days. [Bangs fists on a table.]

Oh, this fire in my veins!

All the training, all the setbacks, all the sorrow will not be in vain. I am in a full sprint and chasing after what God wants to do in the hearts of the lost through my generation. Enough already about a “marathon.” We need to cover serious ground NOW. Pick. Up. The. Pace. We give ourselves limitations, but God has given us freedom. We are free to race to Him and we are free to say “NO!” to anything or anyone who conflict with His word. And I’m yelling it: “NO!” [Bangs fists on a table.]

This fire won’t be extinguished.

THIS is the generation. WE and OUR CHILDREN will be the difference. We are free to serve and free to use our gifts according to God’s word. We are free to refuse any standard or tradition that stands in the way. We are free to take charge of the Love-Like-Jesus movement. We are free to demand a change, and hold to nothing other than the righteous hand of Jesus. We are free to pick a fight with evil because we are armed with the blood of Jesus and not afraid to use real love. I dare anyone to try and stop us. [Bangs fists on a table.]

Whether you don’t know Jesus yet or are a believer who feels trapped by “spiritual” conditions that some other Christian has slapped on you, I would love to tell you more about the freedom I’ve found in Jesus. He broke the heavy, burdensome chains that bound me, and He can break yours too.

To the Pharisees: You are no longer hidden from my sight. I see your sheep's clothing and your wicked hearts. Jesus wanted no part with you, and neither do I. I'd rather sit at a table with drunkards, adulterers, thieves, and gluttons than sit at your table and choke on the tradition you've been claiming as spiritual food. You deceive, connive, and manipulate to get your way. You scheme to stay in control, to stay comfortable. And you trick weaker minds to follow your pathway to death. Well, because of the Lord's grace, I have risen above you. You are the ones who have attempted to limit my faith and spiritual gifts, and by doing so, you have only made me stronger. I am no longer your friend, and I will implore the people around me to break free from your spell so they too can experience who Jesus really is. If you're angry because of these words, then repent. Forgiveness is yours for the taking, and I know because I used to be one of you.

To the outcasts: Stand with me. We are strong, and we are free. The binds are breaking, and Christ is propelling us toward him. We aren't afraid of moving forward because we have nothing to lose. We're rebels with a cause who demand truth and sacrifice. And we are not alone. We will win this fight.

Signed,

An Outcast