The creaks of my great-grandmother's rocking chair can be heard in the early morning hours in our house. I hold our new foster baby against my chest and rock her as she drinks a bottle and peers back at me with the most beautiful brown eyes. "How did I get here, God?" I wonder in the night, "How did you transform me into this mother?" I am so thankful for the Lord's chiseling on my heart. But it has taken carrying two babies in my womb, loving a child I had to give up, and accepting a new child (that will probably be returned to her family in a matter of weeks) to get me here. It has taken physical and emotional pain, enormous amounts of stress, and many frustrated pleas for a crying baby to JUST GO TO SLEEP! But God put me here - in a creaking, firmly-built rocking chair to hold his children and learn to trust him. And I am still learning to trust him.
I am still not who I need to be, but thank the Lord I am not who I used to be. And this is my encouragement to new mothers: let the Lord work on your heart in his timing and trust his plan. He has an amazing plan for you and your family!
Some of you are experiencing your first pregnancy and trying to figure out why on earth your body, and pre-born child, seem to have it out for you! Others of you are holding a newborn baby and wondering if you can be enough for your child. Still others already have children, but a new addition is challenging your family dynamic and, let's be honest, your ability hold on to the little sanity you have left. Yet the ones my heart most longs to comfort are those who have lost children - those whose aching arms feel the loss the most, and who pray to stroke their baby's hair or kiss their face just one more time. I have felt the ache of a mother, but I have also felt the joy of knowing that with each new life God gives - each precious, amazing, and beautiful life - there is new hope.
You will be okay, mom. Not everything will be perfect and there will be times of grief and struggle, but God will never leave you. As you hold or mourn your child, remember that God is holding you. And you better believe he's not in the business of leaving when he's needed the most.
Surround yourself with support, mom. Use the people God has given you to relieve you in times stress and when you just need a moment to come up for air. We were never meant to do this alone, and there is much to be learned from those who have gone before us. Listen to them.
And please, mom, don't try to hold yourself to a standard of "perfection," because you will just end up being stressed out and disappointed. None of us are perfect, and none of us have it together! Make priority for the things that matter and kick all other distractions to the curb.
Don't try to please everyone, mom. Let the Spirit guide you toward the things that really matter and away from the things that are stealing your valuable energy and time. You will not regret making your marriage and your family a priority.
However, mom, your relationship to Jesus Christ must always have first priority! He is the reason we serve as wives and mothers, and without him there is no purpose to our callings. Let the Lord fulfill your heart's deepest desires instead of looking to your husband or children for the task. And pray over your husband and your children as much as possible because it makes a difference!
And remember your husband, mom. It's natural to get consumed by the business of having a new baby, but your husband deserves your affection too. Make him a priority and carve out some time each day (even if it's right before bed) to listen, talk, and laugh. He is your partner, and he wants to know that you still think he's the most handsome hunk around!
Yet the hardest thing I've learned is to not fight the change, mom. And things will change for the better! It is a slow process that can't be completed in weeks or months, but as the years pass you will become the new creation that your current self aspires to be. You will get there, mom, and you have to believe it. Live each day with confidence in who God says you are, not how the world misjudges you.
And, lastly, don't forget about the legacy. I sit in my great-grandmother's rocking chair and remember that she was a German immigrant who raised six children. What would she say if someone had told her that one day a great-granddaughter would also rock babies in the same chair? I smile to think about her sparkling eyes and a comment like, "Well, that would be just fine." Strength from the mothers who have come before me seems to seep through the old chair and fill my being. And, so, you and I will also leave a legacy. May everything we do be molded by the desire to serve God, love others, and equip future generations to stand firm in the faith.
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