Texas, oh Texas, how I love thee! But you have been a thorn in my side for WEEKS and it's time to let you know that I feel like smacking a stinky, dead fish right across your face.
Look, I'm just going to be real, folks - I have never been more disappointed by my state. Somewhere in the midst of "making things right" and "accountability," Texas has created (hopefully inadvertently) a witch-hunt for foster families who abuse their foster children. The travesty is that many resources are wasted on loose ends that any practical person can see are not indicators of abuse. Therein lies the problem: Practicality and common sense seem to have left the building.
I am, of course, not saying true abusers shouldn't be held accountable. There are numerous people I know who were in the foster care system as a child, and one in particular I have a close relationship with. She told me a little bit about the abuse she experienced, so I certainly don't live in a world of naivety on this subject. However, my point is maybe she, along with many other children, would not have experienced abuse if resources weren't wasted on illegitimate leads.
Our Experience
While I have deliberately been conservative with the information I've shared regarding the removal of our last foster baby (over 2 months ago), I no longer care if sharing the information causes repercussions toward our foster parent status.
In the middle of August I received a call from K's caseworker. This gentleman was a no-nonsense person, so we got along great. He literally said, "Leah, I am so sorry but I have to remove K from your home. This isn't what I want...but there are players above me who have told me to make it happen." The back story is K had injured her cheek two weeks before while playing with a toy and it left a bruise. The bruise was still present at the next family visit, so it was blown out of proportion. Nonetheless, we took her back home and, I kid you not, she injured herself again the night BEFORE the next visit. This time she slipped and hit right below her eye brow on a chair leg while trying to crawl into my lap. Knowing the visit was the next day, I was carefully deliberate and did everything I was supposed to do such as notify the caseworker, take pictures, document what happened, etc. By the next morning she had what looked like a little scratch below her eye brow, so I felt assured that everything would be okay.
Well, everything was NOT okay! The lawyers had a flying hissy-fit at the family visit. So much so that when I met with one of the lawyers after the visit she almost wouldn't give me K...as if she was handing the baby back to a CHILD ABUSER. Well, thankfully I had a friend with me who witnessed the conversation so nothing could ever come from that interaction. The only thing she didn't witness was when the lawyer followed me to the bathroom so I could change K's diaper. The lawyer literally stood there and watched everything as if she was trying to find a more evidenced reason to get the baby removed from our home. Well, she got what she wanted the following day. The claim was that having two different injuries at two concurrent family visits was an indication of abuse.
A different case worker came to pick up K about two hours after we received the call. Luckily Carey was working from home that day, so he got to say good-bye to her. But we were both so shell-shocked. I asked the case worker if the same thing was going to happen to the next foster family, and she just shrugged her shoulders and said, "Probably."
We are glad to know that K is still with a foster family and wasn't immediately placed back into an unstable environment. However, the illegitimate removal from our loving, nurturing home was undoubtedly traumatizing for her. And it was trauma that was deliberately caused by a few inept and dare I say CORRUPT individuals who had sway in her case. What about accountability for them?
Listen Up, Texas
My beef is not with CPS, it is WITH YOU. False accusations happen all the time to innocent, loving foster families, and I refuse to just accept it as "the norm" and instead choose to be a part of a social riot. While real abusers are out there committing crimes, CPS is forced to chase down leads that have no standing because of the law. And then everyone is drug through months of formalities and time-wasting endeavors to hopefully make everything right again. But nothing is ever right again - not with the foster families, not with CPS, and most importantly not with the children who truly need a stable and caring environment. Oh, no - the only thing "right" is that someone on a power trip used politics and an extreme interpretation of the law (go figure) to get what they wanted at the expense of the well-being of a child. Dare I say you are setting up CPS to work against the very reason they were established? YES.
At least once a month I see another story on the news about CPS needing an overhaul and it infuriates me! The state is on the right track by designating more more money for the organization, but it won't actually happen until 2017. So, anyone want to guess what will continue to happen in the mean time? Regardless of the fact that throwing money at something can only help, but not fix, the problem? Good grief. And then, Mr. Texas, you take away much of the funding for ECI (Early Childhood Intervention)! Has someone completely UNSCREWED YOUR BRAIN?! Can you really not see the correlation between extinguishing a family's need to get appropriate health and mental services for their children and an ever-increasing growth in children entering foster care?! And to think - I used to be the naive one in this relationship.
My Mama always used to say, "Quit complaining about the problem and help with the solution." So, here are my proposals:
1. Establish laws (call them "Illegitimate Leads" laws, if you will) to protect foster children and their foster families from undue removals and prejudice. Include statements such as, "Foster children may not be removed from foster homes when two or more witnesses were present at the time of the injury and the injury was self-inflicted by the child, proven as accidental, and could not have possibly been prevented, " and, "A foster family must be provided all the documents related to the removal of a foster child from the home upon request." I'm no lawyer, so get to crackin' my lawyer friends! So help me if I have to take the time to get a law degree to make something happen...
2. Give foster families representation. Everyone who enters the foster care system - biological parents, relatives, children - are given lawyers. Except foster parents. Oh, no, "babysitting" the foster parents is a task given to the FAD workers who have very little wiggle room to actually stand up for their foster families against false allegations. The FAD workers work hard to retain their foster families only for some predatory-style player in a case to swoop in for the kill. Foster parents are told to "be involved," but "not too involved." They are told to "love" their foster children, but not "fall in love" with the children. They are expected to be at all the meetings and represent the child's best interest without being formally trained, all the while being prone to an incoming attack from someone else involved in the child's case who has an ulterior motive. Get. Foster parents. Representation. This is a personal requirement for our family if we are to have a future in foster care. Foster parents are severely limited because they have no legal say in their foster-children's well-being.
3. Recruit the church. I've heard through the grapevine, Texas, that you've acknowledged the huge, positive impact that God-fearing Christians have on the foster care system. So...why aren't you recruiting the effective church leaders who lead adoption and foster care ministries? Why aren't you using the resources created by Christians and PROVEN to be effective (such as the Empowered to Connect, or ETC, training) to hit the foster crisis head on in the spiritual arena? Get after it.
4. Utterly obliterate the professional career of anyone who tries to use a child as a pawn for a growing their political and/or wealth status. Use reprimands, fines, prosecutions, jail time, affidavits, and whatever else you need at the full extent of the law to bring this kind of corruption down! I'M BANGING MY FISTS ON THE TABLE!!! Do it! Do it now!
Beauty in the Storm
Through it all, Texas, God's
supremacy and goodness will never be squelched. I have witnessed the CPS
workers who strive tirelessly to truly do what is right for foster children in spite of possibly losing their job or facing reprimands. I have cried uncontrollable tears on behalf of the children who have entered our home and have an immense burden for all foster children to be given the love they deserve - the love of a Savior. And the witness of God's continued provision is present in a friend who has decided to become a foster parent even after walking this road alongside our family. Time and time again God shouts, "Here I am!" Thankfully God is here, Texas, but you aren't doing a very good job of listening. I want to give you the silent treatment, but I know that won't help a single thing.
So, I'm certainly not asking you to fix everything, Texas...
But what can you fix? I pray it's insurmountably more than what I could ever imagine. Because, deep down, even though we are fighting right now, I love you, Texas. Now get it together.
